on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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