I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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