Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize