Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
It's just like the Real World with babies
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
