I swear god or herbie drove my car home
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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