$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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