There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
