you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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