We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
