just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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