How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
