Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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