I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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