And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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