Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
