I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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