He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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