She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
