U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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