she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
