This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
