haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
