No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
