And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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