I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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