My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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