hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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