I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
