i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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