Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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