what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
