I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
