Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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