There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
