if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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