Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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