I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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