It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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