Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
