If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
