I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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