just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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