Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
