Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
