He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
