Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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