There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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