Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
