I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
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