i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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