No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have fence marks all over my body
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
