My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I wear drunk well.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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