I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
