areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
farters have to be the big spoon...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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