he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
