Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
