people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
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Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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