she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
